Phone addiction and addiction to gambling, sex, shopping or the internet are behavioural addictions: no drug is involved, but the person loses control over a behaviour that at first brought them pleasure or relief, and keeps repeating it even though it is harming them. The underlying mechanism is very similar to that of substances, which is why they are treated with a similar approach.
Spending many hours on your phone, placing the occasional bet or enjoying shopping is not a problem in itself. The difference lies in control, distress and what you leave behind along the way. Here we explain how to recognise each one and what to do if you see yourself in this or are worried about someone close to you.
What addictive behaviours have in common
They are also called social addictions or non-substance addictions. The activity changes, but the pattern tends to repeat itself:
- Loss of control: you spend more time or money than you intended and cannot stop when you mean to.
- Needing more and more: more hours, bigger bets or more frequent purchases to feel the same.
- Distress when you cannot do it: irritability, restlessness or anxiety, very similar to withdrawal.
- A way out: the behaviour becomes the way to ease tension, sadness, boredom or loneliness.
- Consequences that do not stop it: arguments, debts, poorer performance or isolation, and still it continues.
- Secrecy: playing it down, lying about the time or money spent, deleting your history.
Diagnostic manuals recognise gambling disorder and, in the World Health Organization’s ICD-11, gaming disorder too. Problematic use of phones, the internet or shopping has no label of its own, but it is approached with the same criteria. To understand the underlying process, read what is addiction.
Phone addiction: when it stops being normal use
Phones are used for almost everything, which is why use can get out of control without anyone noticing. Rather than counting hours, it is better to look at whether you can do without it without distress and what it is crowding out. Some signs:
- It is the first thing you look at when you wake up and the last thing before you sleep, and it costs you hours of sleep.
- You feel anxious if your battery runs out, you lose signal or you are without it (what is known as nomophobia).
- You check it in inappropriate or dangerous situations, such as while driving or in class, and you have neglected hobbies or friendships.
- You have tried to cut down and have not managed to, or it causes arguments at home.
Phones and teenagers
Adolescence is a particularly vulnerable stage, and children are getting their first phone ever younger. At this age excessive use usually shows up as sleep problems, irritability and conflict with parents. Agreeing on family rules (screen-free times, phones out of the bedroom at night, adults who also set an example) usually works better than taking it away suddenly as a punishment. If the situation is getting out of hand, FSC’s adolescent programme offers guidance to young people and their families.
Internet, social media and video game addiction
The internet is available at any time, from several devices, at low cost and often anonymously. That combination makes excessive and continuous use easier: the person sacrifices sleep and rest and gives up other activities. The internet also multiplies other addictive behaviours: it makes it possible to bet, shop or watch pornography without leaving home.
Video games
Gaming can be a healthy hobby. It becomes a problem when it takes up almost all free time, disrupts routines, causes tiredness and irritability and crowds out studies or relationships. Among children and teenagers it is the most common non-substance addictive behaviour. Some games include random rewards, such as loot boxes, which follow the logic of gambling and are more addictive.
Gambling addiction
It is the most common non-substance addictive behaviour and the one that leads to the most requests for treatment, both in person (gaming halls, slot machines, casinos) and online (sports betting, casino apps). The most characteristic sign is trying to win back losses by betting again. Other clues are borrowing money, hiding bank statements, lying about where you have been or feeling that only gambling relieves the tension.
Many people come to us after several attempts to stop on their own. In the meantime, some measures help to cut off access: applying for self-exclusion in the official gambling registers, temporarily handing over money management to someone you trust and deleting betting apps and accounts. The therapeutic goal is usually to stop gambling completely.
Sex addiction
This is not about how much sex someone has or judging their preferences, but about loss of control: repeated sexual urges and behaviours (encounters, pornography, cybersex) that the person cannot stop, that expose them to risks and that cause them significant distress. ICD-11 classifies it as compulsive sexual behaviour disorder. Shame and guilt often delay asking for help. Treatment works on the underlying anxiety, those feelings and any relationship or social problems that have arisen.
Shopping addiction (oniomania)
Because shopping is socially accepted, the alarm bells tend to ring late, when there are already debts or conflicts. The person shops impulsively to ease anxiety or escape; the relief is short-lived and gives way to guilt. Common signs are piling up unused items, hiding parcels or receipts, cycling through returns and purchases, or taking out loans to cover spending. The first step in treatment is becoming aware of the problem and understanding what distress is being covered up.
How behavioural addictions are treated
The foundation is psychological treatment, usually cognitive behavioural therapy with family involvement. With gambling the goal is usually abstinence; with phones, the internet or shopping, which cannot be avoided entirely, the aim is to regain controlled, healthy use. Problems that often appear at the same time are also addressed, such as anxiety, depression or the use of alcohol or other drugs (known as dual diagnosis). Psychiatric care is added when needed. You can see what the process involves in how addiction is treated.
When to ask for help
It is a good idea to consult a professional if:
- You have tried to control the behaviour several times and have not managed to.
- It is leading to debts, problems at work or in your studies, or conflict with your partner or family.
- You use it mainly to avoid feeling anxiety, sadness or loneliness.
- Someone close to you has told you they are worried.
At FSC you can start with a free first appointment in Barcelona, whether you are the person with the problem or a family member. Call +34 93 424 04 00 and we will advise you on the next step. If at any point you have thoughts of harming yourself, call 024 (Spain’s suicide prevention helpline) or, in an emergency, 112, the European emergency number.
Frequently asked questions
How many hours a day on your phone count as addiction?
There is no figure that marks the limit. What matters is whether you can put it down without distress, whether it costs you sleep and whether it crowds out studies, work or relationships. Someone can use it for many hours for work without having a problem.
Can gambling addiction be treated?
Yes. It is a recognised disorder and there are specific psychological treatments. The process usually involves stopping gambling, regaining control of money and working on what led to the gambling, with support from the family whenever possible.
Is sex addiction the same as having a high sex drive?
No. Having a high sex drive is not a disorder. We speak of addiction or compulsive sexual behaviour when a person cannot control their sexual behaviour, exposes themselves to risks and this causes them significant distress.
What should I do if my child cannot put down their phone or video games?
Talk to them at a calm moment, without accusations, and agree on clear, achievable rules together. If intense irritability, isolation or falling school performance appear, seek professional guidance: parents can ask for advice even if the young person does not want to.
Can you have a non-substance addiction and a drug addiction at the same time?
Yes, and it is not unusual. Gambling, for example, is often combined with alcohol. In these cases it is best to treat both addictions together, along with anxiety or depression if present.