The signs of addiction hardly ever appear all at once. What usually happens is a build-up of changes in behaviour, mood, health and the way a person relates to others, which persist over time. No single sign proves anything, but if you notice several at once, it is worth talking about it and seeking professional guidance, even if the person does not yet acknowledge the problem.
Signs of addiction you should not overlook
When someone loses control over a substance or a behaviour, their life gradually reorganises itself around it. These are the most common clues:
In behaviour
- Frequent lies, excuses or stories that do not add up.
- Neglecting responsibilities (work, studies, home) and hobbies that used to matter to them.
- New friends, unexplained outings, more secrecy about their phone or their room.
In the body and health
- Weight loss or gain for no apparent reason.
- Very dilated or very small pupils, bloodshot eyes.
- Insomnia or, conversely, drowsiness during the day.
- Neglecting their appearance or hygiene.
In mood
- Sudden mood swings, irritability or disproportionate reactions.
- Apathy, sadness or anxiety that were not there before.
With money
- Money going missing at home or belongings disappearing.
- Debts, loans or requests for money with vague excuses.
These signs also apply to non-substance addictions, such as gambling or phone addiction (you can read more in behavioural addictions). To understand why a person keeps using even when it harms them, see what is addiction.
How to tell if your child is using drugs
Adolescence brings mood swings, a greater need for privacy and new friends, and none of this is worrying in itself. What should set off alarm bells is the intensity, duration and accumulation of changes: grades dropping sharply, giving up sports or hobbies, money that does not add up, very disrupted sleep patterns, a smell of tobacco or cannabis, frequently red eyes, or finding rolling papers, lighters or traces of substances.
If you suspect your son or daughter is using:
- Choose your moment: a calm time, never when they have just used or in the middle of an argument.
- Speak from concern, not accusation: describe specific facts (‘I’ve noticed that…’) and ask what is going on.
- Listen more than you talk. Lectures and threats tend to shut the conversation down.
- The adults should agree on the rules and the consequences, and follow through on what you say.
- Ask for guidance even if it is not clear whether there is drug use. FSC’s adolescent programme works with young people and their families.
How to help a person with an addiction
When someone you love is using, it is normal to swing between anger and the urge to protect them. Neither extreme helps. What works best is combining support and firmness: showing that you care, saying clearly what you will not accept and encouraging them again and again to seek professional help.
What usually helps:
- Speaking in the first person (‘I’m worried’, ‘I’m scared’) instead of labelling.
- Setting specific boundaries and sticking to them.
- Offering to go with them to the first appointment.
- Acknowledging the steps they take, however small.
What usually makes things worse:
- Rejection, insults or humiliation.
- Covering up their lies, making excuses for them to others or paying their debts.
- Threats or ultimatums that are not then carried out.
If they do not want help
You cannot force an adult to get treatment, but you can change how you respond. No longer cushioning the consequences of their use helps them see those consequences more clearly. And the family can start receiving guidance without waiting for the person to take the step; that is what the family support programme is for.
What to do if your partner has an addiction
Living with an addiction is exhausting. Partners often end up acting as watchdog, nurse or therapist, and none of those roles is theirs to play. Some guidelines:
- Express how it affects you, without arguing when they have been using.
- Protect your finances: separate accounts if necessary and do not cover debts.
- If there are children, make sure they have stable routines and an explanation suited to their age.
- Seek support for yourself, not just for your partner.
If there are threats or violence, or you feel in danger, call 112, the European emergency number. If you are a woman experiencing violence from your partner, 016, Spain’s gender-based violence helpline, offers specialist support.
Codependency: what it is and how to recognise it
Codependency is a relationship pattern in which a family member or partner organises their life around the person with the addiction, to the point of neglecting their own needs. It is not a formal medical diagnosis, but it describes something very common in families. Some signs:
- Your mood depends on whether the other person has used or not.
- You feel responsible for controlling their use and guilty when they relapse.
- You justify, hide or solve the problems it causes.
- You have set aside friendships, hobbies or your own health.
- You find it hard to say no even when you know you should.
Breaking free from codependency does not mean you stop loving anyone. It means handing responsibility for their use back to the other person, reclaiming your own space and learning to set boundaries. Individual therapy or family support groups help a great deal in this process.
Self-assessment tests for guidance
If you are the one wondering whether your use is a problem, this page has two short questionnaires: a 7-question test that gives an initial indication of a possible addiction, and the CAGE questionnaire, widely used to detect alcohol problems. On the CAGE, 2 or 3 points indicate a strong suspicion of alcohol dependence and 4 points make it almost certain. No test replaces a professional assessment, but they can help you take the first step.
When to ask for help
The best time is when you start to worry, not when the situation has already become unbearable. Ask for guidance if you recognise several of the signs above, if the substance use is causing conflict at home or if you feel the situation is too much for you. At FSC you can start with a free first appointment in Barcelona, whether you are coming for yourself or for a family member: call +34 93 424 04 00. In the event of poisoning or any life-threatening situation, call 112.
Frequently asked questions
What are the first signs of an addiction?
They are usually changes in behaviour: lying, neglecting responsibilities or hobbies, changes in friendships and mood, and money problems. What matters is that they persist over time and that several occur together.
What should I do if I suspect my child is using drugs?
Find a calm moment, speak from concern and with specific facts, and listen. The adults should agree on rules and consequences and seek professional guidance even if you are not sure there is drug use.
How can I help a person with an addiction who does not want help?
You cannot force them, but you can stop covering for them, keep clear boundaries and keep encouraging them to seek advice. Meanwhile, the family can get guidance on their own, which often makes it easier for the person to end up asking for help.
How should the partner of a person with an addiction act?
By expressing how it affects them without arguing when the person has been using, protecting their finances, looking after the children if there are any and also seeking support for themselves. If there is violence or danger, they should call 112.
What is codependency and how can it be overcome?
It is a pattern in which the life of a family member or partner revolves around the person with the addiction, neglecting their own needs. It is worked on by learning to set boundaries, handing responsibility for the substance use back to the person who uses and reclaiming your own life, often with therapeutic help.